I found this quote today and wanted to share it:
"A child needs both to be hugged and unhugged. The hug lets her know she is valuable. The unhug lets her know that she is viable. If you’re always shoving your child away, they will cling to you for love. If you’re always holding them closer, they will cling to you for fear." --Polly Berrien Berends, Gently Lead

Our Pastor at North Church, Dr. Lawrence Kennedy, has often told the story of the country dog and the city dog when talking to parents about holding their children too close. Imagine, if you will a city dog that lives indoors and when he is taken outside he is led on a leash never leaving his master's side. On the other hand, there is a big hound dog curled up on the porch of a large country home enjoying the sun. Surrounding the home are wide open, grassy fields, no fences. You can see for miles when you stand on the porch. Occasionally, this big dog will leave the porch to stroll slowly in the yard to check out the world beyond his favorite spot. Now if the city dog is given an opportunity to be unleashed, what happens? He begins to run.

Our purpose as parents is to train our children to love God above anyone or anything else, to be responsible, to treat others with respect, and to have a strong, Godly character. Always keeping our child's safety in mind, we have to allow them to make mistakes and then take responsibility for their actions. If we are always behind our child fixing everything for them then they will not learn how to deal with life when it does not go their way.

Parenting is so challenging but at the same time is definitely one of the most rewarding things a person can do in life. What a joy it is to see children, who are not perfect, but are serving God and living a successful, adult life. My children are a joy!

Meditation, the Key to a Deeper Life With God

Parenting requires a lot of time, energy, and wisdom. One of the goals as a Christian parent is to guide and train our children to become successful, independent, Godly adults. It is a process. As a parent, you often do not see the full results of your efforts and love until you see your child later in life function as a responsible adult. There are signs along the way to show if you are on the right track with your parenting skills but it is only with prayer and meditation on God's Word that will truly guide you along the journey.

In Joshua 1:8 it says, "Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do." As my husband and I raised our children, there was nothing more important than to prosper and succeed as a parent. They are our legacy.

When I was praying about what it means to meditate on the Word day and night I thought of visiting the Florida gulf. The water is so beautiful and warm. When someone goes to visit a city by the ocean and they walk to the beach to enjoy the water, they can experience the beautiful ocean in two ways. First, they could move just close enough to the water to where with each wave, the water just barely washes over their feet. The way to fully experience the ocean is to suit up in scuba gear, jump in, and go deep into the waters to experience the saltiness, the beauty, the quiet, the amazing creatures that God created. We have to go deep into God's Word and think about who He is to fully let righteousness infiltrate every area of our lives. It is with meditation that we are able to withstand the temptations and trials of this world and become holy as He is holy. It is in this place with God that we can learn to parent with the fruit of the spirit. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self control. True, we do not reach perfection until that day that we are promoted to heaven, but every day we should have a closer walk with our heavenly Father. In Proverbs 23:7, "As a man thinks in his heart, so is he." What we dwell on, meditate on, and think about is who we become.

Don't Try This At Home Without God!

Welcome to Parent Jam! I have so looked forward to this time with you because I am so excited about sharing my experiences as a parent.

The parenting journey has been very sweet but it has also has taken us through situations that were very sticky. Honestly, I do not know how parents make it without the Lord in their lives. It is funny because I am thinking about the crazy feats that are shown on YouTube and they always put a statement on the bottom of the screen "Do not try this at home!" I think I need to put a scroll across the bottom of this blog, "PARENTING, do not try this at home without a relationship with Jesus Christ!" God has been with me every step of the way...when I was almost sleepwalking because of sleep deprivation, when each of our babies cried and I had no clue why or what to do, when we made trips to the emergency room, when my heart was breaking because of choices made, when our children were disappointed, when we were told our daughter had a one in four chance of living, when our son and his beautiful wife moved across the country--God was there. He has always been there. I can see how He guided us as parents and has given us wisdom when we so desperately needed it.

Being a parent has brought so much joy that is difficult to put into words that ooshy gooshy feeling I get inside when I just think about how much I love our two wonderful children. Are they perfect? Absolutely not. I would not put that pressure on them. It is amazing to me how hindsight is 20/20 but what I understand even more now is that we were looking into the future with 20/20 vision because we depended on God (and still do) to show us how to pray for our kids and how to believe for a great future for both of them. Win and I can see how God has worked in their lives from the moment they were conceived. Today they are successful young adults who love and serve God.

I will close this first post with a poem that I found many years ago. I am a director of Kid's Day Out Christian Early Education and at the end of our spring program each year I read this poem. The author is unknown. Tears usually flow down my face as I choke through the words.

If I live in a house of spotless beauty
with everything in it's place, but have not Love,
I am a housekeeper--not a homemaker.

If I have time for sweeping, working and
decorative achievements but have not Love,
my children learn cleanliness--not Godliness.

Love leaves the dust in search of a child's laugh.
Love smiles at the tiny fingerprints
on a newly cleaned window.
Love wipes away the tears before it wipes up
the spilled milk.

Love is present through the trials.
Love reprimands, reproves, and is responsive.
Love crawls with the baby, walks with the toddler,
runs with the child, then stands aside
to let the youth walk into adulthood.

Love is the key that opens salvation's message
to a child's heart.

Before I became a mother I took glory in my house of perfection. Now I glory in
God's perfection of my child. As a mother, there is much I must teach my child,
but the greatest of all is Love.